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~ Millie Chalk
HOW DISAPPOINTMENT IS A GOOD THING
Eastern religions teach that desire leads to unhappiness
by taking you from the present and into a place of wanting.
Wanting leads you into feelings of frustration and the
bitterness of disappointment. Disappointment can lead
to feelings of powerlessness which can lead to depression,
leading to more disappointment, etc. It can be a vicious
cycle. I understand why for centuries desire has been avoided, but what if you could turn disappointment into something good? If disappointment could be labeled a good thing you would be free. You would be free to desire, to dream, set intentions and go boldly into the unknown excited to greet what could be the miraculous!
It took me fifty years to learn that putting aside my ability to desire or dream is too high a price to pay per chance I become disappointed. After all, disappointment is only a temporary state. I used to think it was a constant in my life, but have to admit now that it’s simply a reaction to seeing something that is unwanted. The good news is that life is always in flux and I have unlimited opportunities to change my reaction to my reality with each new moment.
We can also change our relationship with the word, “disappointment” by honestly looking at what it can mean. As with anything, we can take something that seems inherently negative and flip it around to become something positive just by the way we think about it. Disappointment is no exception. Instead of becoming sad, mad, frustrated, fearful and hopeless because of it, we can acknowledge our ability to choose how we feel about any subject. If the feelings of disappointment are too strong, it’s best to take a “time out”, which can come in any form, from taking a nap to meditation, or doing anything that pulls us away from a negative thought.
Often just knowing we have the power to choose our thoughts puts things into a different perspective, giving us the confidence to then replace that list of negatives, and find thoughts to move them up to a higher, more positive outcome. It takes a bit of practice, (actually it takes a lot of practice) but gets easier with each success and before we know it, we’ll find ourselves looking disappointment in the face and admitting those feelings of loss are a passing thing, even a positive thing that will catapult us into a greater desire for something different. The stronger the disappointment, the greater appreciation for what it is we do want when it manifests in our lives.
The wonderful thing about appreciation is that the more we find ourselves in that state, the more of what we want comes to us. Imagine getting to a place of such trust in this process that we would actually welcome that occasional disappointing thing because we’ll recognize its blessings, even using it as a springboard for creating miracles.
Now that we are no longer afraid of disappointment we can once more allow desire into our lives. I believe desire is the gateway to intention. Anything that’s ever been created was done so through intention. Desire creates intention and intention leads to creating what is wanted. It is a perfect formula that you cannot do incorrectly, (you can only slow up the process, but you will eventually get there). There are no mistakes.
Following some basic guidelines on creating through intention can actually lead a person to their happiness, not in manifesting what they have wanted (we all know true happiness does not come from things) but from the knowledge that all along the ability to create our own experience has been within us all along. Kind of like when Glenda the good witch told Dorothy she could go home at any time, that she had the power to do so from the beginning. The knowing that YOU are the creator of your own destiny is a powerful belief, one that will sustain you no matter what the circumstances.
The secret to making desires a positive force in our lives is all in how we use them. If we use desire to regret what hasn’t come then we create a belief in “not enoughness”. The Universe responds by sending us more of what we focus on and so the attraction of “not enoughness” continues to plague us. If we let desire create intention, we focus on what is wanted, not from a place of lacking but from a place of knowing our dreams exist and are simply waiting for us to line up with them. I believe all that we’ve ever wanted is being held for us in a type of escrow; just waiting for the brief moment when we’re open to the wellbeing that draws it all in, but here’s the key… we must be clear on what it is we want.
We must recognize that happiness does not come from material wealth, status, or even relationships. Those things are actually a result of our happiness not a cause. (We can all site plenty of examples of people that have what seems like everything, only to be miserable.) To make our dreams, desires and intentions come true we must focus on what we really want; happiness, peace, knowledge, and contentment.
The wonder and beauty of such understanding is knowing that we can have all of these things simply by how we think about everything else in our lives, and trusting that all things that we experience, even disappointment, is merely a stepping stone in the process used to bring happiness into our lives to the degree that is relevant to how great the desire.
The greater the disappointment the stronger the desire. The stronger the desire, the greater the appreciation of that thing we have desired when it comes. The greater the appreciation, the more our desires are manifested. It is a continual process of creation.
Putting your dreams and desires on hold for fear of disappointment is too high a price to pay. Remember, disappointment is a passing state, but the joy of what you can create because of it can last a lifetime and perhaps beyond!