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Impossible

~ Louise Hills


I had a dream that was impossible. I choked

and cried myself awake. Shaking & shivering

in my tears. I had gone to an outdoor Native

People's Festival, where both my grandmother's

great grandmothers as well as my grandfather's

great grandfathers danced.

Their clothing was simple, nothing like the fantastical regalia I see now. The singers sang low but so powerfully. The singers were beating the drums.

Tears fell from my eyes as I watched how  their steps were light, barely touching the ground.

In the dream somehow I ended up in a gym. Hard core power lifting. Worked my glutes and legs as well. In the showers the scene here turned to one of the shelters I was in more than once.

The woman I partnered with for 19 years was there, also there was her daughter and granddaughter; but also several women I knew that had died of cancer; exposure to the elements or violence were also there.

Why is this horrible dream happening? Am I soon to join them all on the other side of the curtain?

I was pretty muscular but very curvy and dressed in revealing low cut off the shoulders top, jeans that I had cut to be pedal pushers. My ever present earrings and ankle bracelets were there with my favorite perfume.

I was dressed and began my trek to the metro station, only to run into insane issues. I was told in order to get on the train, I had to purchase something. I don't know what I purchased, only that the whole thing was nuts.

At a table sat both a woman and man I had a relationship with at the same time. Both had been dead for a long time. Why was I seeing these people? I waved at them thinking how weird this was because they were at one another's throats all the time. They each knew about the other, I was very honest.

I left that area; little did I know this day would become far stranger.

The metro station I needed to use was 10 blocks away. I loved walking, so heat and humidity did not affect me. For some reason, I ended up in another, busier restaurant.
At the table sat my mother, my aunt, my brother. Why is this happening? They are all gone.

I miss my mother so much that I touched her face and began to cry. My brother began to cry because he missed me. My aunt Janie asked where I had been for so many years.

My mind told me to get up and away from this restaurant. I told everyone I needed to go. I ended up in an apartment with lots of sheets and curtains covering furniture. Out of a very steamy kitchen steps my father.

Dad, how is it I am seeing you?

I ran to his arms crying. What was this dream? I told him that I saw my great grand parents, my mother, my brother and my aunt.

He said "you had to learn from this dream".

Then he too was gone and I woke up in tears.